what to do if you're feeling triggered by someone else's success
As someone who’s super passionate about your business, I am sure you’re with me when I say that it is tough when you don’t see immediate success for your hard work.
ESPECIALLY when people post about their $10K - $100K months…It can honestly feel like a slap in the face when you know how hard you work, yet you haven’t even come close to that form of ‘success’.
Or when you see someone enjoying the things that you want, or reaping rewards that you feel you ‘should’ have or that you ‘deserve’.
Recently, I saw someone posting about their business success and how much money they have made. They were so deserving and were celebrating a huge money milestone! I was so happy for them because I know how deserving they were, although this overwhelming feeling of ‘why not me’ took over.
I started to spiral into jealousy and think about how hard I work and how I’m not even close to making that money. I thought ‘I’ve been doing this for double that amount of time, and I’m not even close. So, I’ll never get there.’
Thinking like this did nothing but make me feel horrible and set me back in having an otherwise great day. I’m sure you have probably been there too, getting lost in the comparison game, and ending up feeling bad about yourself.
Instead of making you feel incredibly sh*tty and then forgetting about it until you feel triggered again, jealousy can actually be a useful tool (if used correctly).
how to use jealousy as your own motivational superpower
THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS FEELING IS TELLING YOU
When you notice you are feeling triggered by someone’s success or feeling jealous of what someone else is doing/getting…that is a perfect time to step back and really analyze your thoughts.
What is it about this person that is making you feel jealous, mad, or resentful? Is it how much money they’re making? Is it how they’re showing up online? Is it the way that they make their business look so fun and easy?
Step back and really reflect on that. WHY is it that you feel so triggered by that? Is it because you want $10K? Is it because you aren’t letting yourself show up fully online because you’re scared of judgement? Or is it because you think that business should be hard and that you can only be successful if you’re ‘grinding’ and ‘hustling’ 24/7?
Keep asking yourself WHY? After some reflection you will likely find that you are feeling this way because this person is showing up in a way that reflects something you want, or that contradicts a limiting belief you have placed on yourself.
~ Maybe you’re dreaming of more freedom,
~ or more money to spoil yourself and loved ones,
~ or more self-confidence / self-ownership,
~ or more fun and ease in your life!
Once you acknowledge what this triggered feeling is really saying, that is the first real step towards being able to address it and conquer that feeling!
HOW CAN YOU REFRAME THIS EXPERIENCE?
After recognizing why you feel so triggered by this person’s success…you can finally begin to reframe what you’re feeling.
Instead of feeling intimidated by them, or that their success leaves less room for yours, CHOOSE to actively see them as motivation and proof that it can happen for you.
By showing their successes and sharing their wins with the world, these people open the door for you (and everyone else) to do the same.
It’s time to let go of the shame around sharing your awesomeness, and start to celebrate our wins, accomplishments, and how far we have truly come.
When you and others share your wins, it opens the floor for others to believe they can do it too, and for them to share their successes with the world as well! See…it’s a chain reaction!
When you feel like someone’s success is triggering you, you act as though there’s only a limited amount of success or goodness in the world.
But that is SO WRONG…
Another person’s success does NOT take away from yours. There is enough room for all of us to thrive in our own unique ways.
Just like someone else’s beauty doesn’t take away from yours…there will always be enough to go around. Just because they hit a $5K month, doesn’t mean there’s all of a sudden not enough for you to get that too!
It actually shows you that it is possible, and that you are just as deserving as they are to get that!
PLAN FOR YOUR OWN SUCCESS
Once you’ve been able to uncover what these jealous feelings are telling you, and how they can be motivation for your own success in these areas of your life….then what do you do?
MAKE IT HAPPEN! You have all the proof that this dream is possible. That it can be done. So why not you?
If you ask yourself that and you have all of these excuses as to why you can’t do that or why you’re not deserving…I challenge you to write these limiting beliefs down, and then replace them with examples of how that is not true
BOOM…right there you just proved your limiting belief wrong!
So, let me ask you again….WHY NOT YOU??
Since your feelings of seeing this person’s success have come up, you can use this to guide your direction. If this is something that you truly want, how can you realistically get there?
What would that version of you be doing?
~ what would your day look like?
~ what books would you read?
~ how would you look, dress, act, speak to yourself / others?
~ how would you be investing in yourself?
Think about that and do anything you can to embody that version of you right NOW!
You don’t have to be making $10K this month to start acting like the person who would make that amount of money.
You don’t have to be fully 100% confident in yourself to start showing up as your most confident self RIGHT NOW.
You just have to make the decision to show up as your highest self, whatever that means, and choose to become them now!
THIS WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU
Trust me, I know how hard it can be to feel stuck, feel like they’re all successful and you’re not, and like you’re not being recognized for your hard work!
But, once we start to recognize the things that make us jealous or that trigger us, that is a huge step towards allowing us to use this as proof that it is possible, and choosing to step even closer towards that dream we’ve been chasing!
I believe in you, and I know it’s going to happen! You deserve all the happiness and success in the world because you are YOU!
xoxo,
Holly
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